the Fall of Falling

I apologize for the lack of blog posts for the past few months. As most of you know I started my sophomore year at Northern Kentucky University (NKU) back in August and unfortunately I haven’t had the time or motivation to focus on my blog, or really anything other than school. It has been one of THOSE semesters. Every day this semester I have been running around just trying to get everything done. I have had many sleepless nights, many Starbucks orders, many exams, many projects, many papers, and many obligations that have caused me to feel pulled in a million directions. This semester has definitely taken a toll on my mental health and has made me lose motivation in things that I adore the most. This so happens the be the fall of falling.

I think the cause of most of this is the fact that I always have big expectations over the things I am excited about. The beginning of this semester I was so excited to be back at school. I had a long list of things I was most excited for written down so that I could have things to keep me motivated. Unfortunately, the things I was most excited about ended up being huge disappointments for this year. Nothing was going the right way, and for someone who is a planner, I had no control in my life. I eventually got stuck in this rut of not enjoying my classes, friends, faith, hobbies, or activities… the things that I typically find enjoyment in. I was no longer enjoying myself at school and started resenting the things I loved doing. This led me to seclude myself from others and hide in my dorm alone. I didn’t want to see anyone because I was so upset about everything that I became embarrassed of myself. I felt as if no one could possibly understand what all I was going through.

Earlier this week I got the chance to meet up with my women’s bible study while I was home for fall break and realized that I was not the only one struggling. Everyone had something that was happening in their life whether it was lacking motivation, struggling in school, or just feeling lonely at times. Knowing that I wasn’t the only one struggling helped me realize that I did not have to be alone during this time. I don’t have to seclude myself from everyone because they are there to help me through all of this. I learned that I should strive towards the things that make me happy in order to get out of this “Fall of Falling”.

So… that brings me here! I enjoy writing (except when it’s for my horrible news writing class) it is a way to make me feel connected to others, and I hope that some good comes of it. When it comes to the internet and social media, all I see are the perfect things in people’s lives. I only see the things people want to show off and as much as I love seeing the good, it’s refreshing to see the bad. I want this blog to become something real. I don’t want to pretend like my life is perfect when it’s not, and I especially don’t want people thinking my life is perfect when it’s not. I want people to feel at peace when they are reading my posts because they know that they are not alone in whatever they may be dealing with.