the Switch

I was that girl who thought she knew what she wanted to do with her life her freshman year of high school. Everyone who knew me knew I was focused on traveling a bumpy career path, or in this case a bumpy street, and that was Broadway. I wanted to be a Broadway actress.

I started dancing at the age of three, so I had always had that creative outlet in my life. It wasn’t until I performed in my very first Nutcracker that performing became more than just a hobby. Shakespeare wrote, “All the world’s a stage,” and being onstage felt as if I belonged in this world. Performing gave me a chance to be noticed.

Throughout my childhood, I was known as the “shy” girl. People would describe me as “quiet” or “reserved” and they were correct. Little did they know I was suffering from a slight social anxiety. Because of this issue, I didn’t get a lot of courage to speak my mind and I constantly worried about what others would think of me. Now, I know what you’re thinking… why on EARTH would a shy girl with confidence issues want to be on stage? I know it sounds strange but performing allowed me to become someone else. When I was onstage I wasn’t Katelyn Fulmer, I was a character! Which meant that for those few moments, I was able to be the center of attention without having a fearful thought in my mind.

My passion for theatre grew, even more, the next couple years of high school. I started acting and voice lessons to build up my skills, I continued dancing, and I participated in the musicals at my school. I was growing into a stronger performer every day. But what I thought would strengthen my confidence, ended up destroying it. You see, I was a dreamer stuck in the pessimistic jungle known as high school. My senior year of high school was the worst for my confidence. I allowed the harsh comments and petty drama to sabotage the hard work and passion I had. What used to be my escape, became the thing I dreaded the most. I even felt discouraged at home. I would try to practice my music in my room, but every mistake reminded me of how I wasn’t good enough. When it came to college auditions, my destroyed confidence followed me, so it did not surprise me when I got rejected from every school’s program.

I don’t want it to sound like theatre ruined me because it didn’t. I loved every second of my performing days and I would do another show in a heartbeat. I also loved all of the friends I met and the mentors I had. It just takes a very strong personality to do theatre for a career, and it was not right for me, so I had to make the switch. To any aspiring actors out there, DO NOT LET PEOPLE DEFINE YOU. That was my mistake, and it’s something I have now learned from. Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if I didn’t listen to all the people who brought me down. I wonder if I would have ended up at NKU. I wonder if I would have found my sorority. I wonder if I would be the person I am today.

Psalm 37:5 says “Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn.” Everything happens for a reason and looking back, I would not have changed a thing. God has given me so much at NKU and I am blessed with opportunities. He made me fall so that I could come back stronger. I decided to make the switch to PR because it was more stable for me emotionally and luckily, it is something I am extremely passionate about. I knew acting would be hard and I knew if I stuck with it I would never have become the confident young woman I am today.